Bila Susah Baru Mau Carik Ya??

Mesti orang lain pun penah alami situasi macam begitu kan?

Bila senang buat-buat tak peduli...bila susah baru mau carik.

Sangat obvious kan?

Saya sendiri pun selalu terkena. Berkali-kali!
Kami pun selalu terkena.

Kalau di fikir-fikir kan sangat memang boleh makan hati ulam jantung.

Lagi di layan buat sakit hati..ibarat luka berdarah nanah gitu. he he he.

Kesimpulannya...

Mulai sekarang, saya akan cuba untuk menyenangkan diri sendiri dan menyusahkan diri sendiri tanpa perlu ambil tahu dan peduli orang lain.

YESS...

Sebab, rasanya seperti kerap benar diri ni kalau bila susah, susah mahu di tolongi..

Dan bila senang, seperti artis pulak layanan yang diterima. Walaupun sedar diri ini bukan lah artis.

Kan lagi elok lepas ni....biar aku dengan dunia aku..

Ha ha ha..

Lagi satu nak tambah...

Betul ke?

Dengan segulung ijazah yang ada,

tapi tak diguna pakai dengan sewajarnya aku digolongkan dengan orang yang rugi?

Rugi kah kalau tak mempraktikkan segala yang pernah belajar dulu?

Bukan tak pernah okay..PERNAH...tapi tak lama...he he he.

Pernah ke orang tau aku dulu kerja dok terkulat-kulat baring bawah meja beralas kan drawing bersaiz kan A1 sebagai cadar?

Diorang tak tahu...

Ha ha ha.....Walaupun semua tu cabaran liku berliku alam pekerjaan.BEST woo....

Siap tak mandi 1 hari stay di office.

Gaji installment...(ini memang rock kapak sikit)

Bos yang bila susah baru baik hati dan bila senang ujung bulan gaji buat dunno saje.

Tak pe...itu semua PENGALAMAN.

...................................................................................

When It's Really Over. Glad I am Fine.

Okay...I dunno how strong penangan the Nur Kasih to me. I addicted you..
Last Friday, as Nur Kasih finished. I tried to finished-up the pending works.
During it, I was blissful caused berangan lah if I am Nur
Then, plup..plup..plup! I received call from ITU! and...here I go again.
Shaky and cold hands.
Then....W.T.F.ire??! ha ha ha
Okay la...congrate la for my ex. He's getting married on Friday.
Okay. Kite stop. Kite bukak cerita lain.

Then, on Saturday I started feel weirdo inside.
Tapi I tak KUAT!
Ikut parent pergi rumah orang kahwin.
Then, I let my mum know the above ITU news. (comments censored)
I pergi open house my ex-U.
Even I stucked in jam! Bayangkan dari Ampang ke UK 1 hour stucked! hishh..
Totally fully-loaded the stomach.
Owh perut..I am sorry. he he he.
Do my work a bit while I found Jepun serang I.
Then go home. Mandi-mandi. Makan ubat, then Tido!
(Penuh tak jadual I?)

On Sunday.
I woke up, early bit. Compared to the susah mau tido last night.
I asked Mak shopping. Since I didnt have any plan anyhow.
And for the sake I dont want to staying home plus with buzzing mind.
We went to Jln TAR.
Mak borong habes...!!!Orang nak Depavali, kami pun sibuk jugak..ha ha ha
Uish....gagah Mak daku.
We bought kain pasang, tudung, and the most important is the wannabe-pengantin keronsang!!!
Yahooooooo! at last!
Dan dalam hati mula terdetik...
"Sesungguhnya, Mak I sayang I. Dia amat memahami dan mengerti kiranya hati anak nya sedang berduka"
uish....boleh keluar air mata tau..
Isk...isk....isk....

Dan officially, I dah totally over it.
and FYI, the reason why I am staying single is, I am afraid to face the ugly in a relationship.
Even somehow I do feel, If I did react like sh*t before takkan I tak de react liked the beauty of flower before ek? Confused I.
Even I tau I was not a perfect lover. But at least I know how to say I love him/her and appreciate whatever he/she done for me.
ITU....this is for you. Thank you for giving me the best book which are the best experience ever guided me as a good teacher. U taught me real meaning which I called it as a life. Thank you.

Aku dan Kau

Sentap!

Itu: "Em..lagi satu, kalau boleh la. Kalau boleh kite teruskan dengan 'aku' 'kau' je la. Selesa sikit nak sembang dengan ko"

Ini: "Erm...ha ha ha. It doesn't mean anything. Jangan risau"

(Yer, saya gelarkan I and You) Tettt!! bodohkah aku? bodohkah?

Yes! for the first time (after 3years) Itu starts the conversation (YM sahaja..ape kelas?he he he. So jangan perasan). Saya seperti dulu, masih gelarkan Itu 'you' dan Ini 'I'. Tak salah kan?? Serious, it really doesn't means anything!. Tapi.... he he he.

Sebenarnya niat online malam ni cuma nak update facebook dan my other blog. Plus, swim into the internet!. Tapi tak pe lah..nak marah buat ape kan? Tak de makna dah pun. Atau mungkin...? Ahh....Takkan lah! Jangan ingat...jangan ingat!

****************

Semalam, berbuka saya berbuka di rumah kawan saya! Hu yeah...dia masak! Meaning home cooks? Yerp. Menu, Chineese cuisine. Pergh..macam dah terbayang-bayang jer sup sirip ikan yu kan? Padahal...simple dishes je. Yet, awesome. (Shery, kamu pandai masak!Sedap...he he he) See yah girls, the forwarded sms a.k.a the menu:

Appetizer :

Murtabak Ayam (ini beli kat Bazaar Ramadhan sebalah Maybank saje.he he he)

Main Course:

1. Rice

2. Cantonese Chicken Soup

3. Oyster Mushrooms w. carrots

4. Beancurd with soy sauce

5. Fried egg

Desert:

Watermelon with Nata de Coco

Drinks:

Chilled Lychee drinks

pstt...your apartment so damn nice dear!

On the way back to Ampang (together with Ayu & a friend of her), we stopped to shop at Downtown, Cheras. Guess what all..I never been there before. Semalam first time! Ha ha ha. To cut it shorts, the layout there much neader than uptown, Danau. Variety of choices..and I myself bought 3 new shirts (in good quality) for RM10 each. Okay lah...nice. Definitely will come again! Alhamdullilah sebab hujan je malam semalam, kalau tak memang borong lagi! Ha ha ha.

Ouh. My scoliosis? Lama tak update. Last week, I did my regular X-Ray and check-up. Finnaly, I discharged!. Doctor said I don't need the monitoring anymore. Since I am already 25years old (muda lagi yer), and my bone should be strong enough to hold as it is. Tapi, the slight curve mungkin akan jadi. The potential to increase the bending curve only 1 deg/year (this is based on my own observation). Last year it was 36deg, then latest is 37 deg. Lebih kurang lah kan? He told me I can live liked other normal women, I can get pregnant (but, the extra back-pain?? still have to bear lah..what to do kan.) and I don't have to come again unless I feel unconfortable with my back bone. Ape-ape pun, Alhamdulillah..

Geng...this is for u

Geng...this entry Ila buat khas untuk kamu....

Ila sayang kamu.....rase yg dah lame Ila tak rase ngan org lain...kamu tahu kan??
Tapi Ila pun nak kamu tahu...Ila pun nak kamu bahagia...kalau jalan itu yg kamu pilih...Ila ikut :'(
Ila tak kuat! tak kuat nak pegi kenduri kamu...kamu tahu kan??
Ila nak kirimkan adiah untuk kamu...sbb tuan badan tak berani nak pegi....
Ila tahu kamu pun mau Ila dtg ke sane tgk kamu kan?
Tapi..Ila mintak maaf sgt...Ila tak bule...Walopun Ila nak sgt3....
Kamu cakap Ila da berubah...Ila cume nak tunjuk kat kamu Ila kuat...
Kite hanye kawan...Ila harap...Ila faham....

Geng, kamu sakit teruk ke? dah sihat ke belum? Ila risau..
Kamu da tak nak kawan ngan Ila yer?
Ila kan kawan baik kamu....kamu yg ckp mcm tu dulu...atau...kamu pun same mcm H jugak?
Erghh.....
Ila cume na bertanyekan kabar kamu.... "sihat ke kamu?"
Ila cume nak cakap....Ila ok....Ila happy untuk kamu...
Sbb Ila sayang kamu.....

Geng...

Jangan lupekan Ila tau...Janji tau cumi....

p/s: Ila takkan lupe kan kamu...cume yg Ila harap ape yg keluar dari mulut kamu...kenyataan kamu...benar...

Mourn

Semalam.......one of my classmate, Intan....@Rawang...jauh gile nak g umah die....macam nak balik kampung je....So...ni gamba yg ila cakap kan tu.....Time ni sangat-sangat panas....terik!

From left : Zura + Pchah + Ila

Sian....x ramai pun budak class ila yg attend wedding die....mungkin kah kerna die sebegitu dulu??? herm...bagi ila...ape yg lepas bia la lepas (walopun ila tak la beberape gemar ngan beliau...tapi merelakan aje la....bende lame...buat ape dikenang....)


Ila ber"car pool" smlm ngan Pcah n Zura..Ila dari ampang, park kete kat umah Pcah, then tumpang ayah Pcah....sampai kat Warta Selayang. Pastu ila jump g kat kete Zura Pulak...heheheh.Sbb lagi seronok burak ngan zura....die pun bule tahan mereng jugak....heheheh


Tapi, sebelum meloncat....agak lame jugak kitorg ni menunggu si Zura yg ayu itu (kebetulan ila ngan Zura pakai baju kaler same! Tak pasal2 ikut theme pengantin!! tak tahan...tak tahan....hehehhe) Pakcik ade tanye ila....ila bile lagi?? (ishhh bosan! nape soalan ni je ila asyik dgr skrg??!) ila just jawab, ''ila single lagi pakcik, tak de org nak kat ila...'' dgn harapan sampai situ je la topik nye.....sekali pakcik bukak khutbah....suro ila doa...mintak tunjukkan jodoh ila...jgn putus-putus mintak....nnt Allah bg jugak...yg da pergi tgglkan kite tu jgn di kenang....(huhuhu......memang meleleh jugak la ila kat seat blakang! tapi kene cover....malu!hehehhe)


Bile da sampai kat umah pengantin.........hah! lagi skali ila emo lagik....ila tgk intan sanding....pastu ila tgk Pcah....set! jari die da ade cincin...pastu ila tgk aimi(budak paling brutal dlm class AP...) da ade bf dan bakal kawen jugak tahun ni.....then ila tgk Zura (yg dengar-dengarnye jepun nak hantar rombongan) pastu teringat kat Ayu, Ejan.....Ya Allah.....kamu semua da berpasangan...da mau kawen da kanak-kanak itu....fuh.....menangis pulak lagi aku kat kenduri Intan smlm...apela....tak brutal langsung!!!..hehehehe......



Buat kawan-kawan, yg kite pernah same-same peluk, tido, makan, cium, study, buat perangai gile-gile kite.....Ila, sentiase akan igt kat korg! Takkan lupe....harap sgt, lepas korg da kawen nnt.....jgn la lupe kan ila....(sbb ila tak tau kawen ke dak?? hehehhe) Tapi yang teramat pasti...Mesti ila rindu kat korg.....



xoxo,
ila.

Confuse...

Kenape ye..


'' Bile kite suke kat sesuatu ...suke sangat-sangat...tapi kite mesti tak dapat...''

Korang mesti pernah face this kind of situation kan??? Mak...... :( tolong la Ila...

Salah ke?

salah ke kalau kite MINAT pada yg sudah berpunye?

salah ke kalau kite SUKE tengok lelaki yg sudah berpunye?

salah ke kalau kite cube nak RAPAT dengan die?

salah ke kalau kite KELUAR dengan die?

salah ke kalau kite MELAYAN die?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

akibat dr minat+suke+rapat+keluar+melayan org yg dah berpunye....1nov'08(sabtu) kire-kire pukul 6:50pm, ila telah diberi warning supaya STOP IT wutever i m trying to do!!warghhhh!!!! TEKANAN!!!!!

tapi, yg peliknye. .due to my own observation, ila tau...that MAN wants to put the blame on me! Wutta Hack??!! Da susah...baru nak salahkan ila??? Ingt ila x de perasaan?? DAMN! Semua laki same!!!

Moral : Jangan Kacau Hak Orang Lain Ila!!!! :(

If I Were A Boy :: Beyonce ::

1st time i heard it, I was driving back home from office...its really painfull song for girls.....

(Try to understand this incredible lyrics...such a deep song...A word prescribed:Sad)

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

[Verse]
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

[Vamp1]
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

[Vamp2]
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy